Hope Update…


Merry Christmas Eve!

Here in  cold and wet New Jersey it is before 6 am on Christmas Eve. The first question is why am I up and posting to this blog?

The answer is a migraine. Yes! A troublesome headache has me up and about at this quiet time. I also am bound to the promise of getting my husband up early so that he can catch the trash man to tip him for  Christmas. We do this each year, and often miss on the first attempt…these trash guys are tricky. Like Santa they are here and gone just as you hear the sleigh…sorry clank of the truck.

So here I sit blogging before 6 am on Christmas Eve.

The Hope update is this:

Christmas is going well. Anyone who knows me knows this is a miracle.

The shopping was complete on Monday the 22nd. !

Wrapping the gifts was complete, for me, at 6pm on Tuesday the  23rd. !

My son gave his girlfriend her gift and spent a nice date with her last night! She loved the gift!

At this moment, the wee hours of the day, I look at my day…

Work, until the Church bulletin is done for 28th and the first Sunday of the New Year. Mail the last of the Christmas cards!!! I know, but really would they have made it anyway???

Come home, and hopefully my husband will not be far behind me. Off to Grandma’s for an early Christmas Eve get together, hopefully missing any possible drama. There are cousins and siblings I must avoid to maintain this peaceful feeling I am having, unfortunately.

At 5:3o to Church for the Candle Light service preparation. Candles, Caroling, Praise and Worship of our Lord and Savior! Then home again by 7pm. This is good.

How am I doing?

I wouldn’t say I’m festive or even excited about the holiday. However, I am not depressed or angry. It would be great to be expectant. To have that childish anticipation for the Christmas dawn, but I don’t.

I wish someone would answer a question. Do adults really have these feelings for holidays? I mean the child like glee. The excited anticipation after the pretty packages under the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree. Do they really happily await the festive family get together, where one too many cousins are tipsy [understatement] and your mom and aunt are reliving the argument they had a month ago? Do adults really put these things aside to celebrate the birth of our Savior?

I know I’m really pessimistic. However, I have worked very hard this year searching for some sanity within my family relationships. A look back on 2008 shows vast transformation in me.

I simply want to live a life that is pleasing to God my Father. I hope to find in this life a living that is peaceful and  purposeful.

{ I have to mention a funny thing here! I just did a spell check to find that the dictionary here on WordPress does not recognize the words blog and blogging! This amuses me, here while I blog. Maybe its the early hour!}

I am actually hopeful that this sense of content on this Christmas eve is a sign that my feelings for this celebration is turning. That I will begin to feel the joy of this seasons festivities soon. I would love to truly join my husband and sons in their childlike glee of the season. Yes they are both adults. I thank God for their joyful spirits at this time of year. If not for them I would not recognize the season for any other reason than Jesus.

Not that that is not the total reason. But I would simply recognize that and move on in the day! No celebration past Praise and Worship. And honestly not counting the last 8 years, I would not have done as much prior to my salvation.

So as I ramble and you realize that you’ve been reading the ramblings of a crazy woman with a headache, I smell the coffee brewing.

My Hope….is that this feeling of content remain and increase to festivity.

My Hope is that everyone will come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.Blessings.

My Hope is that you all have a Wonderful and Merry Christmas.

 

Merry Christmas !

Merry Christmas !

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